The Path Ahead - by BKF Patron Dave Smith MBE
This time next week I will be lying in a hospital bed
I woke up this morning to a very wet cold day and the first thing I said was I am grateful for everything I have in my life, from my friends to my sport there is not a day I don't wake up and say Gratitude. However today had more meaning as this time next week I will be in surgery having the back of my head and neck cut open to remove the tumour.
So what is in my thoughts today, FEAR is pretty high and I keep watching the clock go from hour to hour so fast. It has done this since I was diagnosed again. Time seams to go so fast and before you know it the day is over and we have maybe missed opportunities because we have been so wrapped up in the future or worried about the past. Today has taught me again that our relationship with time should be to live in the moment so we don't miss the beauty of the world we live in.
I watched the movie 50/50 this week, some may say not the best idea as it is about a young guy with a similar tumour to mine. It certainly hit a nerve and I cried but also laughed. It taught me how important it is to tell people around you that you love them and never take them for granted. I told my mum last night I loved her and that I know this is harder for her than it is for me. We both handle it well together but I know I cry in secret and I know she does.
I am fighting the fear with setting my goals, like looking down the road on any challenge, perception of the road ahead is the most important thing. I can not wait to stand at the top of Mount Ventoux one of the most famous climbs in the Tour De france in April, 6 months after surgery. Next week is just the same as standing at the bottom of any climb, there is a road to the top you just have to choose to take it then work for it. Through the dark times, there is always moments that take your breath away and thats why we have dreams and we should never stop fighting for them.
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